ArcaMax

There's nothing wrong with taking a vacation.

Of course, the reality of moving yourself, your family and your 200-pound carry-on can be challenging, not to mention that in 2026 the price of one week at a fancy-schmancy hotel, a mildly infested Airbnb, a tiny trailer or a teeny tent can wreck your budget for the 51 weeks that remain.

The scent of mountain air wafting through your sinuses or the rhythms of the waves tickling your toes on the beach make it all worthwhile. You'll return to work rested and ready to excel.

No, it's not the vacation that's the problem. The problem is the period that comes immediately before the vacation, when you have to work like a crazy person to dot all the T's and cross all the I's, all to ensure that nothing could possibly go wrong the moment you step out the door.

Or so I was reminded by "Why Must We Work So Hard Before Vacation?" a far-from-relaxing Joe Pinsker article in The Atlantic.

As Mr. Pinsker observes, " People can work so intensely in the period leading up to being offline that they need, well, a vacation to recover from it."

The need to double- and triple-up on your workload before vacation is felt with the most intensity by the kind of weirdo who believes that the work they do is actually important. Without their "secret sauce," they tell themselves and everyone else who will listen, plans will flounder and decisions will not be made. Therefore, it is essential that they take on "the time-consuming work of explaining to others how to handle everything when they're out."

For you, this will not be a problem. Everyone knows how you work. Any project you receive is put off as long as possible, while you spend your time looking for some sucker to pin it on when the project blows up.

This doesn't lighten your pre-vacation schedule. You will still have to work extra hard to leave behind a list of people to blame.

Another rationale for pre-vacation workaholism is the "completist impulse." This is the feeling lurking in the brains of some poor souls that says, "people must work first to be deserving of leisure." Hopefully, you disabused yourself of this philosophy within the first 24 hours of employment.

One solution to the hell-week-before-the-vacation-week syndrome is contingent on managers who "can be open about taking vacation themselves, emphasizing that rest is vital." Exactly why you will feel better about your week at the Yemen Holiday Inn, knowing that the boss is flying on a private jet to a private yacht to frolic with Zuck, Jeff and Sergey, I'm not sure. (On the positive side, it is worth whatever effort is required to learn your boss's schedule. If they're out of the office and you're in, that's a free vacation.)

The Joe Pinsker article we are discussing was originally published in 2022 and while it's only been four years, the world has changed since those halcyon days. How do I know? There is absolutely no mention of AI.

AI changes everything.

In 2026, you don't have to work extra hard to make sure everything goes right while you're on vacation. Instead, you have to work extra hard to make sure everything goes wrong. A corporate disaster of monumental proportions -- that's what you want to happen the moment you walk out the door.

How else will management know that no amount of tokens spent on that spiffy new AI software will cut it without the presence of a human person -- specifically, you?

I recommend spending your last weeks before vacation loading up on new assignments, the more challenging the better. Commit to increasing sales, streamlining product development and galvanizing marketing. Most important of all, take on the mission-critical job of bringing soft serve to the company cafeteria. Set totally unreasonable completion dates for all your projects and enlist the most incompetent of your team members to work with you.

Phew!

Only then will you be able to sit in the sun on your choice of mountain aerie or talcum-powder beach and think about the colossal meltdown that's engulfing your office in your absence. You'll know that when you come back to work, your job will be there and a certain smart-aleck AI chatbot that thinks it's so smart, won't.

Best of all, you have 52 weeks before the pre-vacation nightmare starts again. In the meantime, you'll not only be tan, but secure.

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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at info@creators.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Copyright 2026 Creators Syndicate, Inc.