ArcaMax

Dear Eric: I recently pet sat for somewhat new friends. I had been invited on a weekend trip with them but had a work commitment that meant I couldn't go. I offered to pet sit for them, which is something I've done for other friends from time to time.

During the weekend there was an incident which wasn't really anyone’s fault that resulted in...Read more

Dear Eric: I have to work with a very arrogant person, and it is hard to manage his dismissive attitude and grumpy remarks.

The thing is, I am paying him to do work on my home. He is a talented and skilled person, but his personality is very off-putting as he seems to honestly believe he is the smartest person in the room, which is ridiculous. ...Read more

Dear Eric: My wife and I own a guest house up the street from our home. When we’re not using it for ourselves, my wife rents it out on Airbnb. The Airbnb guests pay a nightly rate and also pay a cleaning fee, which we use to pay the cleaning staff after they check out.

I like to let friends from out of town stay there for free when they are ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am 60 years old and have had hearing loss since grade school. I’d flunk all those screening tests. My two younger siblings also have my same type of hearing loss and have worn hearing aids since their 40s at least.

My siblings are persistent in trying to get me to buy hearing aids which they feel I need. Yes, I probably need them...Read more

Dear Eric: My boyfriend of almost two years seems unable to break away from his former spouse's family. The marriage lasted 15 years. There were no children, so he has virtually no contact with the wife.

However, he seems unwilling to refuse any invitation from the family to have dinner, lunch and go on weekend trips to their bay house. ...Read more

Dear Eric: Why should I go to my 50th high school reunion? I received a phone call from a former classmate who wouldn't give me the time of day when we were in school together. “You need to go!” No, thank you.

The cost is outrageous. Plus, most of the people I would like to see are either not going or are deceased.

During my high school ...Read more

Dear Eric: Often when I’m eating at a restaurant or cafe, I’ll notice other tables leaving half-finished food to be thrown out. In these situations, I’m tempted to either ask if I can have the remaining food, or to just pick it up from the empty table. I don’t like food waste and am completely unbothered by the thought of sharing food ...Read more

Dear Eric: I send birthday and Christmas gifts to my great-niece (8) and great-nephew (3) who live in another country. I haven't seen my great-niece since she was 6 months old and I've never met my great-nephew. I am not close to their parents, my nephew and his wife.

We communicate via WhatsApp. I ask them what the kids would like and get ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am getting older. I have lived in my home more than half my life. I raised my children, educated myself, had a career and launched my kids while living here as a long-divorced person.

In the last few years, my body has changed. I now use a walker. My mind works just fine. Many confuse mobility issues with thinking issues.

Today, a...Read more

Dear Eric: A group of seven elders – men and women, ages 60 to 90 – have gotten together once a week to play poker at my unit in our condo building for almost two years. As my husband and I are the only couple, we provide the food, set up the game with chips. My husband is disabled and an introvert, so this is the only way that entertaining ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband’s family has a long-standing tradition of not buying Christmas gifts for adults, just the small children. It keeps Christmas less hectic and allows us to concentrate on what’s important: spending time together as a large extended family.

Years ago, I suggested to my highly dysfunctional family a similar approach. Most ...Read more

Dear Eric: After 38 years of military and Department of Defense service, I retired and moved to my current home eight years ago (in a town I've never lived in before). I became friends with a woman two years ago and she introduced me to her larger circle of friends (about 19 women). Since then, I've become close with her and her best friend and ...Read more

Dear Eric: A friend is planning his second marriage. It will be his fiancée’s third. Both are in their mid-to-late 60s, have owned their single-family homes for many years, and have reasonably well-paying jobs.

They are planning a wedding shower and have registered for gifts, including expensive kitchen equipment and utensils, china, ...Read more

Dear Eric: About 14 years ago our son was seriously dating a woman whom both my wife and I really adored. We both thought she would be a great wife and daughter-in-law.

She became the daughter we always wanted to have.

Then the unspeakable happened. She cheated on him. They broke up, yet remained friends, but she claimed she had adopted us as ...Read more

Dear Eric: One of my husband's son's is going through an ongoing divorce, many years.

A few years ago, he started storing equipment, tools, bikes, and more in our garage, attic, shed and basement. Our garage is packed to the ceiling, and we cannot use it for many of our own things. We felt badly for him when he first told us of his "plight", ...Read more

Dear Eric: In 2020, my now-wife and I were engaged. My mother is a nurse and has asthma and was deeply hit with mental and emotional stress from the pandemic. She would not attend most wedding planning events and would always be concerned with germs, wearing an N95 mask and keeping her distance.

My wife had a completely opposite reaction to the...Read more

Dear Eric: Three friends and I are planning an eight-day cruise in January.

Two other people found out about the trip and are now coming as well. We are fine with that but are not looking to make it a larger group and I am definitely not looking to turn into the "cruise director" for the group as often seems to happen.

There is one friend that...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for almost 32 years. He’s retired military and works as a civilian. All those years as military he wore the standard uniform, plus boots.

Well, some time back he visited Texas and bought some cowboy boots. Mind you, he had always been the non-clothes horse guy – simple jeans and shoes.

Well, ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am in a 12-step program. We have rules about anonymity and confidentiality, specifically that what is shared in a meeting stays at the meeting, and I trust that this applies to information shared between members and their sponsors outside of the meetings.

In a recent meeting, my sponsor, “Sally," used her sharing time to talk ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a clergy person with a comfortable office/study at the church building. I love the space. It’s where the great bulk of my work gets done.

I also love my wife.

But she is pretty boundaryless regarding my office space. This is problematic for a few reasons. One is that I often have confidential information about parishioners on...Read more